considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
