my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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