whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
