If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just want to make out with him forever
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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