Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
