people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
