The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
