i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
