Your dad touched me again.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
