all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
