i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
