I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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