Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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