and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
