Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
