he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
