Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
