Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm experimenting with sincerity
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
