none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize