why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize
