It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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