Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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