summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
you never un-have a 4some
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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