My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize