dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
