He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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