I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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