Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Randomize
