I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
