so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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