butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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