the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
