Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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