he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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