Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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