i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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