Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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