her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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