If that was your dad, he is hot
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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