Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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