Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
sex in a hospital.. check
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
