Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
