This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
