I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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