I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
