I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
