um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize