please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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