at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
