I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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