i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
