do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
