some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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