I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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