Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i just google imaged poop.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
