does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Well I told him Iβve got the flu....he said heβd wear a condom
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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