she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
