Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
