I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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