All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
